Five Years On

Five years ago today, Dad passed away after a long life and at the end of a slow physical decline. I wrote a lengthy post about him last year and have been thinking about the phases of grieving that we experience. It's different for everyone, but in my case the heavy weight of it has lifted significantly in this last year. I was told in the beginning that things would lighten eventually, but when the loss is fresh it's hard to believe that this could ever be true. It's so personal, one's journey through grief and healing, and it's not linear, so patience is the key.

I live with many happy reminders of him and a lot of material treasures from his/our home, and can listen to his speaking and singing voice whenever I choose. In this I am luckier than some, as he was a performer and accustomed to documenting himself and family occasions. All this in the age before easy ways to record existed! He went to a good deal of trouble to set up tape recorders in order to capture Father's Day, birthday parties and other family events, admonishing the children not to touch the microphone and acting as announcer. It's a joy to hear my grandparents and even relatives that I never knew speak, joke and laugh, 70 years ago.

Thinking of you, remembering, and thankful for everything, always.